It Takes the Correct Environment

Three female classmates walked through the door of the local '7eleven' store dressed in evening formals. They had just stepped out of a black, stretch limo. My brother Robert and I gathered items necessary to make ice-cream sundaes.

"Hey guys! What are you doing?" Andi Focht, a member of Elkhorn High School's girls soccer team greeted us. Of the three, she actually associated with my brother and me on a regular basis. Michelle Fain and Sherri, whose last name escapes me at the moment, knew us, but rarely if ever spoke to us. All three had played instruments in the band at one time, but had all quit sometime after our freshman year and the trip the band had taken to Florida.

"We're getting things to make sundaes." My brother and I replied matter-of-factly. While I stood puzzled as to why these girls cared one way or another what we were doing, my brother and I had always been polite enough to get along with the vast majority of our classmates.

"Aren't you going to prom?"

"No."

"Didn't Allison and Vicky ask you guys to go?"

"Yes, they did."

"Then why aren't you going?"

"We don't want to." I believe that was the first time I had ever replied to a question of this type by stating my own lack of desire to attend. Our parents had never allowed us to attend dances or like events, because they disliked the environment. I had always used that as a safe excuse, placing the blame for my absence on my parents rather than on coming up with a real reason. But at the time of this convenient-store dialogue it dawned on me that I really did not want to go to my Senior Prom. I would rather spend the evening with my family (which only consisted of my parents, Robert and me, after my older siblings had gone off to college) than with a bunch of classmates who seemed destined to get drunk and do something stupid. In fact, I am still uncertain what these three girls, who rarely spoke to us, let alone struck up conversations with us, cared at all why we were not attending that evening's festivities.

"Well, have fun," Andi offered. "We will," we replied.

Nearly twenty years later, I found myself dressed in a nice Chinese (Zhong Shan Zhuang) suit standing outside of the Harbor Plaza Hotel in the Green Lake district of downtown Kunming. Last night was the Senior Banquet for Kunming International Academy. Being a high school teacher, I attended free of charge.

Around me stood young men of different heights, but all of whom squirmed a bit uncomfortably in their formals. Young women drifted back and forth in groups taking photos of their friends' gowns. I snapped a few photos as well and asked a student to take some photos of me and my date (the beautiful Miss Suli). Students and staff spoke to each other easily and enjoyed the camera flashes and stunning evening attire.

I know now that my parents had been correct in their beliefs about the nature of the Elkhorn High School prom environment. KIA, however, being much smaller and built upon a much different premise than the public school I attended, presented a banquet that felt like being back at home making ice-cream sundaes.
One thing my father taught me is that the woman is the one who is to be seen. Therefore, Suli wore a gorgeous, pale pink dress with sequins, while I wore a black Chinese suit with only a hint of pink (my dress shirt could be seen at the collar of my jacket). I felt like the luckiest man in the world as I strolled into the hotel, escorting this tiny Chinese beauty.Becuase KIA is such a small school--this year's graduating class is fifteen students--most of the students simply came prepared to be a part of the group, rather than arriving as couples. When Mark stepped out of his taxi, every eye immediately became glued to his stunning red and white Korean style suit. Mark is tall and thin, and the suit accentuated his scarecrow figure. However, he quickly tired of everyone wanting photos, as can be evidenced by his raised hand in this photo.
Here stands the senior class of 2007, all fifteen of them. Some will be going on to college next year. Some of the young men will be fulfilling their civic duty by being in their home country's military for their mandatory term. Some will simply be taking a year off before deciding what to do. I suppose that year off is no different than my twelve years "off" after receiving my degree before I decided what to do with my life.
As if the senior class was not small enough already, next year's senior class, pictured above, sport only ten possible graduates (Nu Ri and Jason are not pictured in this shot). The juniors raise all the funds and perform all the legwork to make the banquet happen each year, and these juniors did a wonderful job creating a memorable event.

After the evening's celebration, Suli and I strolled around Green Lake before heading home. The city has done a wonderful job of lighting the trees and buildings surround the lake. At night, the entire area looks like a carnival, without all the noise and smoke.

I have never regretted not attending my senior prom. When I look back on it, making sundaes with my family was the right choice. Twenty years later, deciding to stay home would have been a mistake, one I am glad I did not make.